Song of the night,

Complete and total adoration,
My gift to you, my heart was yours,

In ten weeks you shaped it,
In one night you murdered it.

Torn from my chest and laid at your feet,
That first step that you took was the worst.

Since then you've walked a thousand miles in solace and short remark,

And I still have these memories,
But will never see what we could have been.

Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?
Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?
Remember, Cause that's all you can do.
We'll never make another memory,
We'll never make another memory.

I wish i would have died in your arms the last time we were together,
So I wouldn't have to wake without you today.

This time I thought things were real,
You said they were,
What happened?

You were a priority,
Was I an option?

I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone.
Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled.

Knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart,
I'm just sorry that it wasn't enough.

So, we'll go our own ways,
And hopefully you'll remember these things i've told you,
Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said is in sincerity.

A broken heart is not what I wanted from this,
But I guess i've learned from it.

But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes?
I don't consider this a mistake,
I just wish the story didn't end this way,
Cause i'm still in love with the person who helped me write it.

Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?
Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?

I've always loved this little beauty. So heartfelt. Sigh.

I'm Sorry.

I struggle. I struggle to be what you want me to be. I struggle to fit into your little box of perfection. And I struggle with the fact that I can't be the person you want me to be. Usually, it wouldn't bother me that I can't fit into perfection. But this time it does. I want so badly to be yours. To make you happy. To fit into that box.

But more than that, I want you to want me. I want you to want who i am. I want you to want me how i am. Not as perfection. I'm not what you want, even less what you need. I can't change the person that I am. I can't squeeze myself into that tiny box of perfection that you've created for me. I've given up on trying. I need to live my life, the way I want it to be. And I want you to be there with me. But right now, it feels like I'm suffocating. I can't live like this anymore. Don't let me go just yet...

Before too long, we'll be a memory...

You've let me down so many times,

Yet i still won't give up on you.


She felt the sting of the skin as it split, the sweet welling rise of blood. It hurt, though not as much as everything else.

Help, i have done it again.

I have been here many times before. I hurt myself again today. And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame. Ouch, i have lost myself again. Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found, Yeah I think that I might break. Lost myself again and I feel unsafe.

(Artwork by Amy Silcox)

Kinda frightens me how much I depend on some people.
Cause in all honesty, I have no idea how I'd be without them.
There's little bugs on my computer screen tonight,
and they're really annoying me.
But um, yeah. More or less, it sucks to be this helpless about my emotions.

How does it feel...

To know you're everything I need?
The butterflies in my stomach,
They could bring me to my knees.

How does it feel to know
You're everything i want?
I've got a hard time saying this,
So I'll sing it in a song.

Diggin' Spill Canvas and Secondhand Serenade this day :=)

Bleh.

All insecure and what not these days.
Wish i didn't love food so much.
Boyfriend deserves much better.
Disgust myself.
He should be with hot babes like this.
Blehh. I feel gross.

Days Roll On, Shout It Out Loud.
Days Roll On, We Know The Price We Pay.

Insane in the membrane

http://awesomegifs.com/wp-content/uploads/monkey-pulls-dog-tail.gif

Copying that link into a web page dealy is totally worth it :-)

I just don't know..

Either way, i'll break your heart some day,
But leaving you is the last thing on my mind.
So when i go, baby kiss real slow,
So i don't forget to make my way back home.

I wish i was an anteater...

Can't Love, Can't Hurt.

Yeah. I think so.




My favourite song tonight.
Is it sad if i'm extremely jealous of how happy these kids appear?

Better now ;-)

I write the alphabet with my tongue..
Its like the edges of your mouth ripping apart..
You're the only girl i ever really cared about..


I hate when i forget things i really want to remember.
<3

Near death experience

Number 372:


Riding the thumpstar with very little knowledge :-)

Not even thinking about toast =D

Hehe.
OHYEAH! NO TOAST IN MY BRAIN!
Gosh i love Mrs Amy and Yvette.
And i love that i don't have to think about toast.
Hehe.
And i kinda love that only Amy and Yvette will really know what i'm talking about :-)
And i've decided i really love my school friends this year.
Same kids, yeah.
Just more awesome than i remember :P

I really don't have much to say.
Just that i wasn't even thinking about toast.
So, here's a photo of my school friends.
Love love.

I have big plans.

Big, huge, ginormous plans for this year. I've got them. Yep. And they'll be fantastic. Splendid, wonderful, magnificent. And when they all go terribly wrong. Horribly, grotesquely, terribly wrong. I'll be here, writing about how disappointed i am that my big huge plans went horribly grotesquely wrong instead of splendid and magnificent. And gosh! I am quite good a describing words tonight.

Anyway, i can't wait for this year to really start. And i can't wait for this year to really end. I can't wait for the freedom of my P's. I can't wait to go to uni. And really start my life.
I just realized the song that i was listening to says "I can't wait" a fair few times. Lol. Your a silly muffin indeed.

Photography by Yvette Finch;


This is Miss Amy Silcox. She is one of my very best friends. We've done some silly things together. And some pretty insanely cool things. And some things that got us in trouble... Well her in trouble. Heh. But we've pretty much been through it all together. And i like that. Heh. Alot of the memories we've made make me say "eeeeeeeeee". We've grown up a lot since we started being bestfriends. And i don't mean we've stopped giggling and saying ew when discussing sex. Or that we've stopped skipping like fairies through the trees when we're talking about how happy our boys make us. Or that we don't run home from school like exited tools when we're going to gigs together. Or that we don't spray crazy string in each others hair. Cause we still do those things at every given opportunity. We just... we're older now :P I love you apbs.

The story of us, as told by Amy herself;
Once upon a time, there were two young stinking hot babes, quite odd. One day, these two strange strangers had to share a sewing machine in home ec. And one girl said to the other, "Bobbin, do you like the word.. bobbin?". The other girl, slightly dazzled replied "uh, yeah sure, its one of my favourites?". Pleased with this answer, the two girls were bestfriends ever since and lived happily ever after.
The End.
Amy & Rhiannon; Bestfriends now & forever.

Bleh.

I act like shit don't faze me, inside it drives me crazy. My insecurities could eat me alive.

Insecurities. They suck. I'm not so good at acting like they don't faze me.
The whole thing with the people and the... Not me. I'm no good at it. And its only going to get worse. I can tell. I don't want them to make me hurt. And i'm terrified i'm going to ruin it because I'm so hopeless..

And he's back with her. And he's already changing. And i try so hard to stick up for him while he's not around. But the way he treats me, i don't even know why i bother. He has her now, he clearly doesn't need anyone else.

Amy & Rhiannon.
Yvette Finch Photography.

I think it's best if i don't.

That noise you can hear - is my world crumbling around me. My heart trying to jump out of my throat. And my stomach tying itself in knots.
"I think it's best if i don't," Those few words seemed harmless enough when they were written. Little did i know the havoc they would try to wreak on my then-perfect life.
I'm sorry. I can't. Don't hate me.
Dun dun dun... The plot thickens.
Heh.

I just spent what could be named one of the best weekends of the year, with my boyfriend and his family at caloundra. It was well enjoyable hey. Realized just how much i love him. And how much i depend on him. Which is an insane amount i might add. Was pretty gutted when we were talking about other girls that liked him. And the sheer possibility that he might get famous and have a bus load of chicks lining up to have sex with him made me want to vomit. Bleh. Even thinking about it now makes me feel ill.

Anyway, on a different note. My favourite song of the week: Have Faith In Me - A Day To Remember. Features moving lyrics such as this:

Have faith in me
Cause there are things that I've seen I don't believe
So cling to what you know and never let go
You should know things aren't always what they seem

I said I'd never let you go, and I never did
I said I'd never let you fall and I always meant it
If you didn't have this chance then I never did
You'll always find me right there, again

I've gone crazy
Cause there are things in the streets I don't believe
So we'll pretend it's alright and stay in for the night
What a world
I'll keep you safe here with me

They've got me on the outside, looking in
But I can't see at all
With the weight of the world on my shoulders,
They just wanna see me fall

We look semi mingin'. But i love him. And Spider-man is in the background. So this is probably the coolest photo you've seen all day.