Exactly.

" I’ve never properly opened upto anyone about it apart from one guy. Someone who i miss alot, i miss his company and his compassionate nature, the way he used to listen and comfort me like nobody else done, the way he never judged me, the way he never shouted at me for crying, or got pissed off, the way he just held me tight into his chest and stroked my hair and told me everything was gonna be alright. The one guy i could tell all of my troubles to and he’d try and fix them." - Rhysa Hughes (http://iamrghughes.tumblr.com/page/8)

Song of the night,

Complete and total adoration,
My gift to you, my heart was yours,

In ten weeks you shaped it,
In one night you murdered it.

Torn from my chest and laid at your feet,
That first step that you took was the worst.

Since then you've walked a thousand miles in solace and short remark,

And I still have these memories,
But will never see what we could have been.

Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?
Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?
Remember, Cause that's all you can do.
We'll never make another memory,
We'll never make another memory.

I wish i would have died in your arms the last time we were together,
So I wouldn't have to wake without you today.

This time I thought things were real,
You said they were,
What happened?

You were a priority,
Was I an option?

I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone.
Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled.

Knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart,
I'm just sorry that it wasn't enough.

So, we'll go our own ways,
And hopefully you'll remember these things i've told you,
Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said is in sincerity.

A broken heart is not what I wanted from this,
But I guess i've learned from it.

But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes?
I don't consider this a mistake,
I just wish the story didn't end this way,
Cause i'm still in love with the person who helped me write it.

Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?
Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?

I've always loved this little beauty. So heartfelt. Sigh.

I'm Sorry.

I struggle. I struggle to be what you want me to be. I struggle to fit into your little box of perfection. And I struggle with the fact that I can't be the person you want me to be. Usually, it wouldn't bother me that I can't fit into perfection. But this time it does. I want so badly to be yours. To make you happy. To fit into that box.

But more than that, I want you to want me. I want you to want who i am. I want you to want me how i am. Not as perfection. I'm not what you want, even less what you need. I can't change the person that I am. I can't squeeze myself into that tiny box of perfection that you've created for me. I've given up on trying. I need to live my life, the way I want it to be. And I want you to be there with me. But right now, it feels like I'm suffocating. I can't live like this anymore. Don't let me go just yet...

Before too long, we'll be a memory...

You've let me down so many times,

Yet i still won't give up on you.


She felt the sting of the skin as it split, the sweet welling rise of blood. It hurt, though not as much as everything else.

Help, i have done it again.

I have been here many times before. I hurt myself again today. And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame. Ouch, i have lost myself again. Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found, Yeah I think that I might break. Lost myself again and I feel unsafe.

(Artwork by Amy Silcox)

Kinda frightens me how much I depend on some people.
Cause in all honesty, I have no idea how I'd be without them.
There's little bugs on my computer screen tonight,
and they're really annoying me.
But um, yeah. More or less, it sucks to be this helpless about my emotions.

How does it feel...

To know you're everything I need?
The butterflies in my stomach,
They could bring me to my knees.

How does it feel to know
You're everything i want?
I've got a hard time saying this,
So I'll sing it in a song.

Diggin' Spill Canvas and Secondhand Serenade this day :=)

Bleh.

All insecure and what not these days.
Wish i didn't love food so much.
Boyfriend deserves much better.
Disgust myself.
He should be with hot babes like this.
Blehh. I feel gross.

Days Roll On, Shout It Out Loud.
Days Roll On, We Know The Price We Pay.